HoPE!

Okay.... so....
no more E.M.O!!!
WAKE UP!! STRONG ME IS BACK!

lolz....

well.. anything just started in few hours ago,
yeah.. my extra chemistry class.....
it gives me hope....
although i hate the stupid class.....

why?

well... thinking back about last night,
is the most struggling night i had ever had.....
i am doing a chemistry for engineers tutorial paper...
and i realize..
THERE ARE MANY QUESTION I DUNNO HOW TO ANSWER....
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I managed to answer all the questions in 3 hours. 20 QUESTION TOTAL, By referring to my slides, books that i borrow from library, dictionary, GOOGLE it...and so on...

and that time, i am so scare, i scare that i cant get even 1 correct answer among the 20 question.
i am worry because the tutorial i am doing, will submit to the lecturer and she will mark our paper and then, the correct answer will be counted as marks for assessment, Which mean, i am so dead! CAUSE I AM STILL DUNNO WHAT AM I DOING ACTUALLY!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i am so scare that time, i am thinking of repeating the subject and failed the subject and repeating the subject and again and again like a routine........

and then, when the class start, and when the lecturer start to discuss about the correct answer ,
and among all 20 question............... i got.......... 14 corrects!

OH MY GOD!
i cant believe it...
i mean i keep predicting that i will have the maximum, MAXIMUM, 10 over 20 correct answer, and dun hope for more than, but in actual? I get 14 corrects!

So, is really motivates me a lot,
i should concentrate a lot, and this is what i've learned.

THE STRONG ME is not gone, is just, he is waiting me to use HIM.
But when i am not using HIM,
THE WEAK ME will let me use it.

I MEAN, WHENEVER YOU ARE DOWN, THERE WILL BE A HOPE IN FRONT OF YOU,
SO FOLLOW THE HOPE, TAKE THE HOPE, LEARN FROM THE HOPE, AND MAKE ANOTHER HOPE AND COME TRUES.

haha....









(p/s: anyway.. thx to PCL and WYW... you guys really part of the reason that motivated me too.. ><><)

the wrong VERION of ME! in the WRONG TIME!

There is 2 VERSION of ME...

one is the STRONG ME..
and
one is the WEAK ME....

the STRONG ME....
is a very strong guy.....
well.. maybe you cant use the word 'tough' to describe me,
but is really strong.
HARDWORKING, SMART, and sometimes a little bit HARD.
SOCIABLE, HIGH SELF-ESTEEM and also CHARISMATIC!
Love the world,
Hyper-ACTIVE.
INDEPENDENT!
When he feels lonely, he will find somebody or new friends just in 5 seconds!
ROCKS! (dun hope for RNB and HIP HOP)
only allowed VICTORY...
LOSER?
FUCK YOU!

now......
on the other side....

the WEAK ME....
is a very very very WEAK person.
EMO-EMO-EMOTIONAL LOOSE CONTROL all the time.
LOST... in TOKYO? nah... i dunno.. just lost....
LAZY, HATER, and COMPLAINTS.
Very bad in socializing with people,
very low charismatic....
Reject to makes friend,
Reject the world,
Hate the world,
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!....

Well, so people, as you can see..
the STRONG ME, and the WEAK ME is totally 2 different person, 2 different soul, but sharing the same body.... my body......wat a curse! .....

Degree life,
is a very very very tough life,
plus,
my course is extraordinary difficulty course.

Well, in the orientation week and also the starting week,
THE STRONG ME is taking control everything.
and he did a very very very good performance.....
WELL DONE!

BUT...
just...
this week..
few days ago...
THE STRONG ME suddenly left, and THE WEAK ME taking control of my body right now.....
sigh.......
now... i really... dunno wat happen...
i mean..
i don't want to be what happen when i am in foundatino Y1S1...
emo all the time,
skipping class all the time,
HATES anybody.....

But,
now i am really like this...
suddenly, without a reason.......

What should i do??

(P/S: Yesterday, i just announce and also declare something about myself to 2 of my new best friends, which i used to not to tell anyone anymore besides my SECONDARY BUDDY. I don't know why i just tell them like this, just feeling useless right now........I do really scare that they are afraid of me right now......... This is why i ended up in din go anywhere, not the CHURCH life group activity. Not the BOWLING INVITATION.... just stay at home, to the music, crying, sleeping, wake up? sleep again, crying.... and so on.........)

Out of CLOSET!

Why most people who out of closet will end up with loneliness............

Why?
why?
and
why.........

Lost?? and Gain??

Losing you,
Losing a partner,
and
Losing a soulmate which always share, fight, laugh, tease, and fun..........

But....

I gain an independent characteristic.
I gain more confident even my life is without you.
I gain more time and space of my own.
I gain less worries about you, and the relationship between you and i.


In conclusion, MY LIFE WOULD NOT WITHOUT YOU........

well, maybe just a little time when i am thinking of you, my heart pains.
But that wont be long, just for a while.

Anyway, i do wish you are having the same perspective as mine too.







I use my keyboard to play and record. Feel free to enjoy. >< haha... simply play one...

Just Go like that!! A staTION!!

Picture too blur... lolz...... left wong yuen wen, pow chen loong, and the right one.. watever.... dun care about that fella... HAHAHA.....

Anyway, things just go like that ya, like that ya ... tatatatata... like that ya!! YO! YO! (i dunno why a rocker suddenly say YO, YO)

try to imagine about my life.

1) If i dun go for foundation, i stay in STPM. what's next?

2) If i still don't want to listen to my parents, i am stubborn and still want to take those art courses, maybe not UTAR, or even is UTAR, is foundation in art, What happen next?

3) If on the UTAR OPEN DAY, what if, i don't choose FOUNDATION IN SCIENCE LEADING TO BACHELOR OF ENGINEERING (HONS) CHEMICAL ENGINEERING? What if i choose FOUNDATION IN SCIENCE LEADING TO BACHELOR OF SCIENCE (HONS) CHEMISTRY?
Cause i wanted chemistry more than chemical engineer on that time. What's next?

4) If i don't get myself barred? ok, that's stupid. But at least, still a choice. What's next?

5) If i still travelling even though i am in degree, or i don't stay in TAMAN BUNGA RAYA, maybe somewhere else. What's next?

6) If i still putting my hater or my history or my previous drama on, What's next?

Well, there is many if, and every if , there is many next comes to you.

BUT I DON'T CARE!!

Well, maybe the 'I' in the past, really care. But that's past tense, what i want, is present tense.

"Hi! I am CHRISTOPHER YEW CHOON SENG, currently study in UNIVERSITI TUNKU ABDUL RAHMAN (UTAR), bachelor degree in CHEMICAL ENGINEERING. Year 1 Sem 1. From RAWANG, but i hate traffic jam, so i stay in TAMAN BUNGA RAYA. Nice to meet you all, people."

Just a simple introduction above, and look at me now? that's my "WHAT'S NEXT" to me.
So, what's next after posting this post to my blog? Well, still figuring.

As a conclusion, don't look at the future of the choice that you already MISSED it. Cause if even though you know and figure out that future, you still cant get the future. Look at the future of your choice right now, create your choice, and look what's next!

DEGREE ---- celcius or farenheit?

ok.. here i am.. once again.... i'm torn into pieces.....

guess wat???
i am already in my degree life for 8 weeks?

BOW WOW!!!

anyway....
this life is really good.
i mean... compare to my foundation time,
i do really enjoy a lot in my degree life.

AND WHAT I WANT?
is just.. i do hope....
my 'really good' degree life will keeps going on.....
keep going on going on.. until we step the industry....

my wish...................

bless me if you are my friends.... ><