[^0^] 99% SiLLy LvL のMe [T+T]

Schooling starts.... then.... Chinese New Year

2012-01-21T23:03:00.000-08:00

and... YEAH!!!!
HERE COMES MY Y2S1....
i am year 2..... OLD.... T_T....

well... is just an usual day in utar...
like my y1 or even foundation year....
just... something changes is...

my dad is having an early retirement....
and
my wira car get stolen.....

HURRAY!....
n
DAMN!

but is ok,
no car... means... i need to stay in a more nerdy life whenever i am in rawang..
no more shoppings .......

and my dad early retirement also have taught me to
use money WISELY!
no more burn or washing money....

and dear dynamics
U SUCKS!
BUT THIS TIME I AM SO GOING TO AIM YOU...
AT WORST...
B-!!!
I SWEAR!!!!

by the way....

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE....=)

HeaRT TiReD (They always don't want to see it)

2012-01-11T20:25:00.000-08:00

WHY? WHY EVERYONE CAN SEE THAT I DID MY BEST, BUT NOT MY FAMILY, FAMILY MEMBERS, AND ALSO MY FAMILY FRIENDS?

THEY ONLY CAN SEE THAT I DID MY WORST............

AND THEN SCOLD ME.....

I AM TIRED......

dear MOM,
if you still keep in thinking i am a bad boy who just wants your money? GO AHEAD!

i feel disappoint to this small family........

DeCide

2011-12-01T10:43:00.000-08:00

Gonna tell my mother and also my father

:" I am quit! Don't ask why, just pretend that i am tired. Thank you."

Bless me for not having next chapters for this situation.....
PLEASE.....(BADLY)

He Took It.... He Din......

2011-11-29T06:44:00.000-08:00

Love, Wealth, Family, Fame, Work

The five most elements for the ppl since they were born...

as for me....

I lost LOVE
I lost WEALTH
I lost FAME

I din lost my family....That wont lost for sure....

And....

WORK.......

Please.... Don't take it away from me too.....
I love working..................T_T

BLESS ME.....

WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE . . .

2011-11-27T09:36:00.000-08:00

yellow diamonds in the light..
i was standing side by side...
as the shadow cross the smile........
and blah blah blah....

we found love in a hopeless place..... repeat 4 times...

well....
as we know... this song... if you just read the lyrics and without listening the song...
then you should go get a life....
BECAUSE
most of us addicted to the rhythm, music and the techno effects of the song...

and for some reason...
the lyrics not making me emotional changes...
but the rhythm.......

I AM NOT A RIHANNA FANS FIRST OF ALL....
but damn!
i think this is rihanna most impact song for me ever........

we found love in a hopeless place...
we found love in a hopeless place...
we found love in a hopeless place...
we found love in a hopeless place...
.
..
...
....
.....
.........

stop!
WAIT!
do we? (the bitches is laughing for sure.......)

a NICE one....

2011-11-11T22:38:00.000-08:00

You are so nice for me.....
seriously.....
Maybe you are the one that i am looking for.....

BUT...
AM i nice to you in your mind?
AM i the one that you are looking for?

CAN WE BE LOVER?

I dun dare to ask......
because you just treat me as a friend that's all whenever we CHAT.......

ALL MY PEOPLE ROUND THE WORLD...
WHEN YOU ARE LOVING SOMEBODY
BUT YOU CAN'T SAY IT OUT DUE TO SOME STUPID REASON....

WHAT WILL YOU DO?
TO GET HIS/HER HEART?

To one of my OLD FRIEND....

2011-11-06T07:56:00.002-08:00

Hi!
Is kinda weird,
when i called you OLD FRIEND.
haha......

Well...
We really that old...
we know each other since we were sweet 16...
whatever...

ANYWAY...
JUST WANNA TELL YOU
"I AM STILL THE SAME! AND I DIDN'T CHANGE! SO DON'T BE SO AFRAID OF ME!!! "

Well.. maybe just a little bit more like 'guys who love to have fun' kind.....
But..
i am still the same....

MY OLD FRIEND....
Thank you........
............

The pass is like ahandful of dust,
it filters through your finger
dissappearing...
little by little....

i wish....
for one day...
i could go back....
in another life....
i would do things differently..............

Hope you will read this post..........

To one of my OLD FRIEND....

2011-11-06T07:56:00.001-08:00

I JUST LUV MYSELF .... + WONDERLAND

2011-11-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

Congratulation to Saints burner christopher and ARGH Christopher......
They both love each other...
They will...
forever and ever.........
TRULY LOVE...........

Song about true love.......

..

I BELIEVE IN YOU BELIEVE IN ME.......
FAIRYTAIL LOVE STORY SUCKS!

They Search around the world... But they are not searching for me......

2011-10-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

Hey! You!!
YES!! YOU!!!

Turn your head here!!
LOOK AT ME!!

I KNOW!
YOU LOVE ME!!
I KNOW!
I AM THE ONE YOU LOVE!
RIGHT?

.....

He said
:"No......"

.................................................................................................................

WHAT A SHANGRI-LA

2011-09-28T04:34:00.000-07:00

holiday first week...
and my soar throat!!MY THROAT!!!

NOW I CANT TALK!
I CANT EAT!!!
ALL I CAN DO IS JUST PUT STREPSIL IN MY MOUTH AND MAKE IT MELTS AND MAKE MY THROAT FEEL BETTER...
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
WHO THE HELL CURSE ME!!!!

whatever...
really hope it can recover by tomorrow..
i really hope it badly...
cause once my soar throat gone..
then my holiday plan will gonna start!...

what plan is that?
private and confidential...
shhhhh...
hehe...

anyway...
this few days just watch and anime to kill my time..
and within 3 days..
i finally finish watch the whole anime series....

is called SHANGRI-LA...
i think those ASTRO USER who subscribe ANIMAX channel they will know..

ANYWAY...
is a good anime....
the story is good..
and the ending is a good ending too....

but still
BACCANNO IS MY FAVOURITE!...

FEW MINUTES AGO.. JUST READ THROUGH SOMEBODY BLOG...
SOMEBODY THAT I DON'T LOVE....
HAS FINALLY FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY......

i was thinking....
why these people are so lucky....
lovers come and gone in a very short time...

and look at me...
i am all alone....
sigh...
whatever.....
get used to it...

right now is just really hope time goes fast..
and my result out....
i want to make sure i am not terminated even though many people say i wont this time...
that's the first thing...

secondly..
when result out..
i wan to see someone i dislike start crying and left utar just like
AMERICA NEXT TOP MODEL ELIMINATION...
who is that someone?
you will know...
or may be is you... hehe..

Little liars is pretty... UTAR final exam is ugly!

2011-09-15T05:53:00.000-07:00

I HATE MYSELF!
I HATE AMERICA!
ESPECIALLY HOLLYWOOD!
I HATE UTAR!

WHY?
BECUZ MYSELF, IS WATCHING PRETTY LITTLE LIARS (FROM AMERICA, HOLLYWOOD) , DURING THE EXAMINATION (UTAR).....

but anyway..
is a good drama actually...
is really totally different from gossip girl and desperate housewives, even though many people think that they are the same.

The four girls are pretty too, good in acting, at least better than the stupid KRISTEIN STEWART.

now what i want to do is just faster finish it, and back to my revision, monday!!! 3days more to go!! my another subject!!
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

anyway... maybe you guys will feel weird that a guy watching some drama like this.
but trust me... this is totally different drama!
is totally different!!!
guys and girls, gays, disabilities.....can watch it..

and is totally awesome then that idiot TEENWOLF... BOOOH!! THUMBS DOWN!

(p/s: .. i love TROIAN BELLISARIO A.K.A SPENCER HASTING IN THE DRAMA.... the most left girl in the picture above... >< )

FAST FAST!! GONNA FINISH THEM (drama) then. START THE NEXT (revision for exam) ...

Last night... the greatest dream ever for the whole dream in this year... I BET!

2011-08-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

Well.. the story of the dream start from.....
i am in my secondary school time...hell ya.. is been a long time i didn't wear my librarian uniform..

And as usual... i am with my gang... my secondary school gang.....
who are them...
well... for those who know then they know..
for those who don't know...
no need to know..
is not so important right now though.....

ok...
continue with my story....

is just a normal day of my secondary school days...
we have class..
i be the class monitor...
i be the librarian...
we laugh...
we crazy...
we tease....
and..
just as usual...

the only different is.....
my acting is different...... i mean... i am not act as the one i use to act as for the secondary me...
but.. the now me....
what kind of acting?
for those who know.. they know..
for those who don't know... they don't know... haha...
is not important also....
times goes on... we will change....

so...
continue....
we having study....
and...
we tease those teacher.. and those teacher tease us back... that's our life...
and then the bell rings...
is the time that everyone love it..

THE RECESS!!!!

YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!

and...then...
the most interesting thing happens.....

that is....
before that...
let me say 1st...
my school name is SMK TAMAN DESA... we call it SMKTD...
and there is another school in the rawang too.. but is different area , too far from us.. called SMK SEGAR......

and this SMK SEGAR school student is visit our school ... but not all.. just some... cause if all..
i don't think i have place to walk... my school is small!!!

ok.. here's the interesting part....
we go to recess.. and the SMK SEGAR student visit us...

and we are having recess in the same time.. same school.. same place... the canteen....

and...
i meet somebody that i missed so much then.......
i seriously...
since standard 6.... and we graduate from the stupid primary school ... and we din meet each other anymore....

well...
in my dream....
that somebody still look the same like the time in standard 6.. well of course not in real life..
that somebody look different right now (check out that somebody facebook).....

and...
the funniest things is....
we act dunno each other.....
i mean..
my gang will say hi to the somebody....
but me...
i am having my own life....

this is funny...
this is stupid.........

whatever...
anyway....
is a greatest dream..
is because since the day i enter utar..
is really been a long time.. didn't dream about secondary time...
haha..
i miss my secondary school time..... badly....
i miss them.....
i miss you.....

which you?
those who know... they know..
those who don't know... they don't know...

haha....

一个星期的单身。。。希望你彻底死心，不，应该是，希望你死掉吧！

2011-08-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

话说，我都单身快要。。。。一个。。。不不不。。。。是两个星期了，算了吧。。。反正都不在乎的。。。。。。。。。

这次单身....是我的选择
被你甩......是我的机会....

曾经差点成功甩掉你.......
但你竟然给我发高烧...
弄到我的良心出现。。。。
告诉我。。。
别那么狠心。。。。

再加上那个时候，
你写了一些不要和我分手,
有多爱我,多想我，
梦到我。。。。
等等。。。。
我真的。。。
被你的信息打动了。。。。。。。

什么？你说。。。我之前也是爱你的？
傻瓜！
我只是在装罢了！
傻瓜，
我特地的。。。。。。
我真得很想甩掉你。。。。。

我承认。。。
第一次和你见面。。。
然后。。。
和你聊天聊天聊天。。。
然后几天后。。
你突然在我们的聊天的时候。。。
和我告白。。。。

那个时候。。。
我真的。。。被你打动了。。
我那个时候。。。
是真的爱你的。。

直到有一天。。。
在某个地方见面的时候。。。
我发现到了一个东西....
原来....
你是在同一个时候....
和 3 个人告白......
只有我.....
答应你..........
我真的觉得我突然间很 cheap。。。。。
就在那一刻，也不爱你了。。。

你一直说，
我对你冷。。。
你一直说，
我说话语气很粗鲁，动不动就骂你。。。
你还说，
我其实是个很多烦恼的人，只是收在心里不告诉你罢了。。。。

。。。。

我的回答，
我很忙。。。
我的回答，
我说话都是这样子的.....
我的回答,
我觉得这些事情没有必要要让你知道,我不想浪费你的时间.......

......
你就默默地接受了我的答案!
哈哈!!!
真好玩!!

傻瓜...
有哪一个恋人....
会互相对对方很冷的?
有哪一个恋人....
说话语气是很粗暴的?
有哪一个恋人....
一有问题...或者不开心是不会告诉对方的?

不过...
不是你罢了...
结果...
终于找到机会....
在你最落难的时候...
烦你,为难你,...
到最后,你受不了...
说你累了...
甩了我.....

很开心!!!!!!!!!!!!!....嘻嘻.....

我只想说,和你在一起的日子,
是个烦恼......
我不想做一个 cheap 精。。。
再加上警告过你了。。。

不要乱乱和别人搞暧昧。。。
facebook add 人？
add...
add 了说 thx ？
可以。。。
不过。。。
你却很犯贱的赞他 you are so cute....
我知道。。。
他真得很可爱。。。
可是。。。。
你妈妈没有教你‘安分守己？’ 吗？

哦！
不好意思。。。
你不明白吧。。。
反正。。。
你是英文教育的。。。。。

还有。。。
可以说性。。。
我不介意！
不过就不要和我说很肮脏的那种！
拜托！
每天都和我说。。。
黄瓜，黄瓜，黄瓜。。。
你妈妈的。。。。。
黄瓜是拿来吃的，要不然就是美容作用的好不好！！

有时候都在想
是不是因为你的太短。。。。
所以要拿黄瓜来代替。。。。。

真的。。。
你说你累？
我真得很开心。。。。
因为。。。
你比我想象中的。。。。
更快累。。
真的是一个意外。。。。。

咒我吧！
反正。。。。
我永远都在祝你。。。
死掉他吧！

（p/s: 老实说，恢复单身的我。。。真的一点都不开心。。。不习惯。。。。不过。。。就是不想要和你继续走下去）。。。。。。。。。

我恨你！

KEEP GOING ON CHRISTOPHER!

2011-07-29T09:41:00.001-07:00

I REALLY CANNOT IMAGINE THAT I CAN SO MANY HATERS...

THAT CAUSE A VIDEO THAT USE TO HAVE LIKES MORE THAN DISLIKES..
GOOD COMMENTS MORE THAN CRITICS....

TURN TO... DISLIKES MORE THAN LIKES..
CRITICS RULES THE WHOLE VIDEO......
DUE TO SOMEBODY SHARE MY VIDEO...
AND THAT SOMEBODY's FRIENDS ARE MY HATER.....

NEVERMIND CHRISTOPHER!
KEEP GOING ON!
DISLIKES MORE THAN LIKE.. MAKE A BETTER ONE..
DO PRECAUTION TO NOT TO LET PPL SHARE BUT DO LET OTHER PPL SHARE (lolz.)

REMEMBER....
EVERYTHING BEGINS IN A VERY VERY HARD WAY.

BLESS ME..(dun curse me plase... is my only dream.. T_T )
THANK YOU...

i am nobody to wait for... i wait for nobody.....

2011-07-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

You SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!

YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME!!!!!!!

YOU ARE SO MOTHER FUCKING WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thought that you might different from the others.....
none of them can accept me....
but you accept me....
even though you are one of them.......

but now...

i am doubting............
are you really accept me sincerely that time?
or.....

OK..
I HATE THIS FEELING...

I USED BY SOMEBODY AGAIN!

FUCK! ....

zzzzzzzz

DID YOU KNOW THAT...
LAST 2 WEEK,
U DID SOMETHING THAT MAKE ME VERY DISSAPOINTED?....

but...

did you know that...
the day before that last 2 week...
i keep on talk about you...
and i keep on think about you....
your good, your bad..
we smile,
we cry,
we fight,
we laugh back....

and i've been waiting for the day to meet you soon......

but..
haha....

ok..
you are one of them too.....

the thing u did in last 2 week........
really.. tells me that...
you hate me
you dislike me
you scare me
you isolate me
you boycott me
you trying ur best to forget me
you joke on me
you mocking me
etc.....

i am so sad..
and i am crying that time......

why?
why even you also one of them?
why?....

i am so damn lost now...
i seriously......
the only thing that i wait......
is not the thing that waiting for me...
but..
is the thing that want me to dissappear...

like a ghost.....

now...
i really dunno who else i just wan to wait for....
i am lost....
again..................................................................................................................................................

.............P.M.P........

2011-06-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

PEER MENTORING PROGRAMME......

erm...
what i know is....
i be the mentor (senior)...
and i guide a bunch.. no no no.. not GUIDE...
i ADVISE a bunch of fresh fresh fresh junior(mentee) for the first 4 weeks.....

and... the closing....

was fun! without DIZZAY!!

GET-IN ROCKER!!!!
>< ...

X.O.

She sings T.G.I.F... i sings.. T.Y.K.P....

2011-06-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

Thank!
You!
Katy!
Perry!

You really din disappoint me... hehe...
All your songs...
really entertain me....
i get inspired. get rid of my emotional changes.....homework... tension... and so on...
all by your songs...

your songs.. your music.. your videos.. is really a magic!

i love ya!! ><

when i say that he or she is potential... i am always right. ><

ANYWAY... TGIF ROCKS!

fiNALLY... No more THOSE ADDICTION! am back!!

2011-06-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well, i just went to bukit bintang today....
shopping of course! haha...
bought AUTOCAD DVD.. but still cant run...zzz.. damn!..

and oso bought domo bag.. contact lens... eye liner (wat? eye liner? , yes.. eye liner.. the previous one finished on few months ago....)

this is my last addiction to 'SHOPPING'...

good!
next week.. no more addiction..
cuz next week onward...

we gonna fight!!
fight!!
not for this love!
but for my academy!!

bless me by myself.. ><

醒了。。。懒了。。。

2011-05-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

突然间想打华语。。。。。

原因？。。。。

不知道。。。。。。

想打就打咯。。。。。。。。。。

望着荧幕机反射出来的我的那个样貌，
看着自己的表情。。。。。。

你伤心？
没有。。。。

你生气？
没有。。。。

你失望？
没有。。。。。

我只是累了。。。。。。麻木了。。。。。。。

以前一个我曾经暗恋过的一个人他和我说
：“当很多人都开始对你采取不良的行动时，问题就不是他们了，问题是你。”

换成以前的我，我会很固执的说
"我没有问题！他们才有问题！”

不过。。。。。。。

现在的我，我不会反驳。。。。。也不会说是谁的问题。。。。。

谢谢 siva......
谢谢 sujesha.....
谢谢 agnes.......
谢谢 lcm........
谢谢 wong chan weng...
谢谢 au wai chong
谢谢 sem 4 的其他人。。。。

谢谢 utar 把我 barred 掉，然后给我 sem 4......

谢谢 florence....
谢谢 yoke kuan.....
谢谢 kai fui....
谢谢 siti rihah....
谢谢 soo yee ......
谢谢 edmund............

谢谢 ikano popular 的大家，和ikano popular 的那些 sucks customer.......

你们真的很棒。。。超棒！
因为你们的教导
我学会了看淡所有东西。。。。

为什么他比我 ‘lanjiao' 可是他受到的招待却好过我？

以前的我，会去吵，会去咒骂。。。。。
不过现在的我知道。。。。。
这就是　－－命－－！

face problem 真的是个很严重的东西。。。。。。。
我承认我是丑。。。。。。

你们要怎样，就怎样吧。。。。

我不会吵，我不会去闹。。。。。。
我已经二十岁了。。。。。
要懂得冷静对待一切。。。。。

今年年尾看了--义海豪情-。。。。。。

这部戏就让我看到了所有的现现实实。。。。。。

后来在 glee 里。。发现了一个对白。。。。。

类似这样的 “一个让大家都崇拜的偶像，不代表他有很多知心朋友。”

没错。。。。。
让人讨厌。。。。。
让他吧。。。。。

让人抛弃。。。。
让他吧。。。。。

让人害怕？。。。
让他吧！。。。。。

因为我就不相信！
全世界就因为你们这群讨厌我的人而开始讨厌我！！

我不再是那个吵吵闹闹的无知少年了。。。。。
我是一个等待时机。。。。。
用贱格的手段。。。。。。。。。
让讨厌我的人。。。。。
一个。。。又一个。。。消失的变态狂魔。。。。。

我！
尤俊程！
二十岁！！！
越来越贱格！！！

永远的贱男人！！！！

最后，加上一句。。。。

‘干你！’。。。。

哈哈。。。。。

‘我没有伤心，也没有生气，只是累了。。。。。’

Should be so lucky ACTually

2011-05-17T07:20:00.001-07:00

What i look for right now?....
huh?.....

actually.. i got a great life actually......

and what do i hope for?.......

well.. i do hope a lots of thing...
but none of them come.....

tired of fighting.....

but....

enjoying the thing i had right now.....

even though is not what i hope......

at least..
still a thing for you to enjoy compare to those poor people...

should i say...

i am one of the lucky person actually???

inSOMNIA

2011-04-15T05:58:00.000-07:00

I DUN CARE!
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MAKE ME INSOMNIA EVERYNIGHT!
NOW I WAN YOU TO BEAR THE TROUBLE THAT I HAD NOW!
THAT IS!!!

.
..
...
....
.....
......
........
..........

BE WITH ME FOREVER AND EVER...................

AM I TAKING THE RIGHT COURSE??

2011-04-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

about 39 people ask me :"are you sure you taking the right course?"

when i enter UTAR...

but

now....

there seem a special one... and i like what he said about my life

:"But we can see that he did well in his course right now.."

this is special....

><

so..
continue be a chemical engineer student...

WHAT ABOUT YOUR ARTISTIC DREAM??

YOUR TALENT??

nah...

wait till i graduate 1st....
cause i am not young..
i am 20 years old...
if everything change..
i need to restart..
but time wont restart...
we still grow older and older...

BUT
I
STILL
NEED
TO
EMPHASIZE......

I AM ALWAYS ARTSY!!!!!! ><

(a.k.a... artistic... lolz...)

haha...

Take a BREAK.... DIE

2011-04-02T18:34:00.000-07:00

TOO MANY THINGS happens.....
TOO MANY ASSIGNMENT...
TOO MANY SYLLABUS.....

but that's ok......
it wont affect me....

just....

TOO MANY TRUTH DISCOVERED....

ok... that's really make me tired...........

doing the wrong expectation is the worst thing that would never happen in my life...
but...
it did...
and i did the wrong expectation...

and now..

i need to bear the sadness...........

if there's a chance for me to die...
i rather go die now.....
instead of facing those dirty truth in front of me..

THAT I WOULD NEVER EXPECTED!!

Buying somebody LIFE....

2011-04-02T00:39:00.000-07:00

i am so dissappointed.....
you lied to me.....
i hate it!
you left me quietly.....

I THINK I GET ISOLATED .................... again........

WHY MY LIFE ALWAYS STUCK WITH THE WORD "ISOLATED"!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I HATE MY LIFE!!
I WAN TO GET A NEW LIFE!!!
MY LIFE SUCKS!
AND MEANINGLESS!!!

FUCK YOU! LIFE!

HoPE!

2011-03-11T20:19:00.000-08:00

Okay.... so....
no more E.M.O!!!
WAKE UP!! STRONG ME IS BACK!

lolz....

well.. anything just started in few hours ago,
yeah.. my extra chemistry class.....
it gives me hope....
although i hate the stupid class.....

why?

well... thinking back about last night,
is the most struggling night i had ever had.....
i am doing a chemistry for engineers tutorial paper...
and i realize..
THERE ARE MANY QUESTION I DUNNO HOW TO ANSWER....
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I managed to answer all the questions in 3 hours. 20 QUESTION TOTAL, By referring to my slides, books that i borrow from library, dictionary, GOOGLE it...and so on...

and that time, i am so scare, i scare that i cant get even 1 correct answer among the 20 question.
i am worry because the tutorial i am doing, will submit to the lecturer and she will mark our paper and then, the correct answer will be counted as marks for assessment, Which mean, i am so dead! CAUSE I AM STILL DUNNO WHAT AM I DOING ACTUALLY!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i am so scare that time, i am thinking of repeating the subject and failed the subject and repeating the subject and again and again like a routine........

and then, when the class start, and when the lecturer start to discuss about the correct answer ,
and among all 20 question............... i got.......... 14 corrects!

OH MY GOD!
i cant believe it...
i mean i keep predicting that i will have the maximum, MAXIMUM, 10 over 20 correct answer, and dun hope for more than, but in actual? I get 14 corrects!

So, is really motivates me a lot,
i should concentrate a lot, and this is what i've learned.

THE STRONG ME is not gone, is just, he is waiting me to use HIM.
But when i am not using HIM,
THE WEAK ME will let me use it.

I MEAN, WHENEVER YOU ARE DOWN, THERE WILL BE A HOPE IN FRONT OF YOU,
SO FOLLOW THE HOPE, TAKE THE HOPE, LEARN FROM THE HOPE, AND MAKE ANOTHER HOPE AND COME TRUES.

haha....

(p/s: anyway.. thx to PCL and WYW... you guys really part of the reason that motivated me too.. ><><)

the wrong VERION of ME! in the WRONG TIME!

2011-03-10T02:43:00.000-08:00

There is 2 VERSION of ME...

one is the STRONG ME..
and
one is the WEAK ME....

the STRONG ME....
is a very strong guy.....
well.. maybe you cant use the word 'tough' to describe me,
but is really strong.
HARDWORKING, SMART, and sometimes a little bit HARD.
SOCIABLE, HIGH SELF-ESTEEM and also CHARISMATIC!
Love the world,
Hyper-ACTIVE.
INDEPENDENT!
When he feels lonely, he will find somebody or new friends just in 5 seconds!
ROCKS! (dun hope for RNB and HIP HOP)
only allowed VICTORY...
LOSER?
FUCK YOU!

now......
on the other side....

the WEAK ME....
is a very very very WEAK person.
EMO-EMO-EMOTIONAL LOOSE CONTROL all the time.
LOST... in TOKYO? nah... i dunno.. just lost....
LAZY, HATER, and COMPLAINTS.
Very bad in socializing with people,
very low charismatic....
Reject to makes friend,
Reject the world,
Hate the world,
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!....

Well, so people, as you can see..
the STRONG ME, and the WEAK ME is totally 2 different person, 2 different soul, but sharing the same body.... my body......wat a curse! .....

Degree life,
is a very very very tough life,
plus,
my course is extraordinary difficulty course.

Well, in the orientation week and also the starting week,
THE STRONG ME is taking control everything.
and he did a very very very good performance.....
WELL DONE!

BUT...
just...
this week..
few days ago...
THE STRONG ME suddenly left, and THE WEAK ME taking control of my body right now.....
sigh.......
now... i really... dunno wat happen...
i mean..
i don't want to be what happen when i am in foundatino Y1S1...
emo all the time,
skipping class all the time,
HATES anybody.....

But,
now i am really like this...
suddenly, without a reason.......

What should i do??

(P/S: Yesterday, i just announce and also declare something about myself to 2 of my new best friends, which i used to not to tell anyone anymore besides my SECONDARY BUDDY. I don't know why i just tell them like this, just feeling useless right now........I do really scare that they are afraid of me right now......... This is why i ended up in din go anywhere, not the CHURCH life group activity. Not the BOWLING INVITATION.... just stay at home, to the music, crying, sleeping, wake up? sleep again, crying.... and so on.........)

Out of CLOSET!

2011-03-09T09:52:00.000-08:00

Why most people who out of closet will end up with loneliness............

Why?
why?
and
why.........

Lost?? and Gain??

2011-03-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

Losing you,
Losing a partner,
and
Losing a soulmate which always share, fight, laugh, tease, and fun..........

But....

I gain an independent characteristic.
I gain more confident even my life is without you.
I gain more time and space of my own.
I gain less worries about you, and the relationship between you and i.

In conclusion, MY LIFE WOULD NOT WITHOUT YOU........

well, maybe just a little time when i am thinking of you, my heart pains.
But that wont be long, just for a while.

Anyway, i do wish you are having the same perspective as mine too.

I use my keyboard to play and record. Feel free to enjoy. >< haha... simply play one...

Just Go like that!! A staTION!!

2011-03-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

Picture too blur... lolz...... left wong yuen wen, pow chen loong, and the right one.. watever.... dun care about that fella... HAHAHA.....

Anyway, things just go like that ya, like that ya ... tatatatata... like that ya!! YO! YO! (i dunno why a rocker suddenly say YO, YO)

try to imagine about my life.

1) If i dun go for foundation, i stay in STPM. what's next?

2) If i still don't want to listen to my parents, i am stubborn and still want to take those art courses, maybe not UTAR, or even is UTAR, is foundation in art, What happen next?

3) If on the UTAR OPEN DAY, what if, i don't choose FOUNDATION IN SCIENCE LEADING TO BACHELOR OF ENGINEERING (HONS) CHEMICAL ENGINEERING? What if i choose FOUNDATION IN SCIENCE LEADING TO BACHELOR OF SCIENCE (HONS) CHEMISTRY?
Cause i wanted chemistry more than chemical engineer on that time. What's next?

4) If i don't get myself barred? ok, that's stupid. But at least, still a choice. What's next?

5) If i still travelling even though i am in degree, or i don't stay in TAMAN BUNGA RAYA, maybe somewhere else. What's next?

6) If i still putting my hater or my history or my previous drama on, What's next?

Well, there is many if, and every if , there is many next comes to you.

BUT I DON'T CARE!!

Well, maybe the 'I' in the past, really care. But that's past tense, what i want, is present tense.

"Hi! I am CHRISTOPHER YEW CHOON SENG, currently study in UNIVERSITI TUNKU ABDUL RAHMAN (UTAR), bachelor degree in CHEMICAL ENGINEERING. Year 1 Sem 1. From RAWANG, but i hate traffic jam, so i stay in TAMAN BUNGA RAYA. Nice to meet you all, people."

Just a simple introduction above, and look at me now? that's my "WHAT'S NEXT" to me.
So, what's next after posting this post to my blog? Well, still figuring.

As a conclusion, don't look at the future of the choice that you already MISSED it. Cause if even though you know and figure out that future, you still cant get the future. Look at the future of your choice right now, create your choice, and look what's next!

DEGREE ---- celcius or farenheit?

2011-03-05T18:49:00.000-08:00

ok.. here i am.. once again.... i'm torn into pieces.....

guess wat???
i am already in my degree life for 8 weeks?

BOW WOW!!!

anyway....
this life is really good.
i mean... compare to my foundation time,
i do really enjoy a lot in my degree life.

AND WHAT I WANT?
is just.. i do hope....
my 'really good' degree life will keeps going on.....
keep going on going on.. until we step the industry....

my wish...................

bless me if you are my friends.... ><

they hate it.... but i like it.........

2010-12-20T21:49:00.000-08:00

Is not that i am dirty minded...
or wanted to be special......

but i really have a feeling towards you right now....
is like a 'OH MY GOD'...........

Assume there is one fella......
and no one like that fella..
not even guys...
not even girls......
everyone hate that fella......
i used to be like the 'everyone'

but.. i just dunno why...
now..
i am myself...
i am me......
i am not part of them nor part of us....
i had a feeling towards you suddenly....
and i think i fall in love with you........

DAMN!!!!!!

(p/s: if you cant understand wat i write, means you are normal... if you do... means you are abnormal...bless you..><)

healthy ? or not? or worst than that....

2010-10-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

well....
sem 4 had ended.....
yeah...
and.....
bad news is....

"I WILL HAVING A FOUR MONTHS HOLIDAY"
WHAT THE HELL??????

so...... i start to have a healthy life...
i go for a job...
i work as a cashier.. in IKANO POWER CENTRE POPULAR...

well..
is not that easy actually....
is kinda hard..............
too hard.............
but is ok...
is just an experience..
the 1st 2 week is kinda hard for me..
but now..
imma getting stable... well.. not yet stable.. but getting......

so.. people.. bless me............. thanks......
for some reason..... i only found out i am a workaholic until some batch of people start to hate me...... jealousy? ...... maybe..... whatever.. just leave it.. cuz i just work for 4 months.. not 4 decades.................

haha..........

huh?.... over?.......

2010-08-27T04:49:00.000-07:00

14 weeks of my semester 4 had finally gone....
so fast....
14 weeks of my extra week to see you to satisfy me is finally used up.....
so fast....

BUT....

i still not yet satisfied yet...
i want to see you more..
i want talk to you more....
i want to laugh with you more......
no
please...
is not over yet!!!!

you are also one of the reason that i barred myself from one of the subjects and got semester 4....... (even though you are not the main reason.. whatever)....

please....
is not over yet!!!
CUZ WHAT I KNOW IS...
AFTER THESE 14 WEEKS.....
i .... i.... i.....
i cant see you anymore...
i cant talk to you anymore..
not even just a smile with you or to me......

don't tell me is over....
and i hope... is only just begun......
but......
pointless...
useless....
hopeless.....

you still not belongs to me.....
and i am not your owner too....
we are just..... somebody who meet somebody and need somebody to finish our course only......
just like client... or customers........

i can let go anything..
my hatred...
yes.. i can let go...
but i cant let go you.......

people always say that i will hurt myself more if i dun let go you....
at first.. i say.. is ok.. cause you are special...
and i keep pretend that my case is special too...
so i wont get hurt like those people...
but...
still....
a pretending...........

i am hurt now......
the happiness is over...
but the hurts had begun.......

i think i should find ways to cure myself...
i need time...
i need to be busy all the time....
this is also why i must go to work as a part-timer....

to buy a keyboard is one of my reason...
but
to forget you... to let go you.. is also one of the reason.......

from now on...
i am learning not to love you anymore.....
bless me.. people...
thanks......

i love yesterday

2010-08-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a great day.....
is really a moment that we din have for a long long time........

still remember last year.....
you wanted to go home...
and i had stop you...
and we talk...
we chat...
we even laugh...........

yesterday.........
was the first time in this year...
that we did the same thing again.......
there is only 2 of us...
no third party...
forth fifth sixth.. or whatever....

we talk about jokes...
we talk about future...
we talk about gossip......
just like a pillow talk.....
i am very happy for yesterday.......

and i love yesterday.....

anyway...
i love yesterday's weather too.........

my life is so dramatic.....

2010-08-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

I love drama.. i love movie..
i love romance genre too....

and... if you notice something.. 80% of the love story.. is.. at start.. one of them.. swear that he or she wont love her or him anymore......
but... time after time..... he or she cant control himself or herself back and continue the love story which should already stop with her or him......

i am one of them...........
my love story is one of the movie or drama.......

last friday......
i keep saying that.. i don't have the feeling of love anymore towards 'her'............
but... last sunday..............
i cant control myself back and fall in love with her back..........

oh my god.
i think...
i should go for psychologist.........

SERIOUSLY......i cant be a lover......

2010-08-06T08:01:00.000-07:00

Seriously...... i dun think i can be a good lover.... NO...
is.. i cant be a lover.....
at all.....

Let's flashback to 1 year ago.....
when i look at you..... the first time i saw you.. and the first time i have the feeling towards you...
i am very happy... and excited....
well.. maybe no one knows who are you.....
but is ok...
just be my cute little secret lover.. (by the way.. you are older than me a lot.. i dunno why i call you... cute little....)

i keep do a lot of thing for you.. sacrifice....
among all the boys and girls......
you are the one who get the higher rate of knowing per seconds　(means.. how well do i know you in every second)
i do a lot of things...
whenever you have trouble.....
i try my best to help...
whenever i am in trouble..
i try my best to not to let you know.. cause i don't want to let you worry.....

but now...
1 year later....
maybe is because of....we only met for twice... like that every week... or... just.... some weird reason.....

sorry......
i really...
don't have...
no more...
those feelings toward you.......
in the bad way...
that is...
i don't love you anymore.....
i dunno why....
before.. when being with you...
i am so damn excited...
but now....
when being with you.....
even just in msn....
i was like....
'empty'.......................

i cant be a lover...
single suits me more.....
well...
or... i think i should say....
i am workaholic than you...
even tough i love you is because you are workaholic too...
but..
now...
i love my work.. and i love busy... more than i love you....
until...
i love my work and busy only.. but i dun love you anymore.....
sorry.....
sorry.. for the 'forever and ever' promise.....
sorry..........

anyway...
thanks for make me have a great moment with you.....
bless you.......

I HAD THE LOVE..........

finally... is his turn.....

2010-08-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

good luck to one of my best friend in UTAR for tomorrow..
a very very very very very very very very very best friend ever....(TOO MUCH EVER.. but sometimes.. i feel like i wanna slap him)...

good luck for your talk show..i will try my best to watch ur show...
i noe that u want me, and also all your friend to watch ur show....
but i will try... cause... i got a lot problems right now.. sob sob.. sorry... wu... wu....

good luck.......
(for some reason, i start to feel sad because the possibility to watch his show is quite low... is not sad because of i cant watch his show... i feel sad that i just scare.. my absent will dissapoint him...sigh......)

anyway.. good luck.. my friend....

i think i grow up...

2010-08-02T08:31:00.000-07:00

after today....

i think.. i grow up already...
seriously.....

i can accept everything which is negative right now...
friends betraying..... lovers gone... .....

and funny thing is....
i even dun wan to tell all my problems to anyone.. anymore....
just let it be....

cause for me...
is my panic..
i dun wan everyone who cares about me..
panic because of my panic...
is unfair...
friends.. for me.. is for fun
not to share the panic....
but in the same time...
cause i dun wanna see my friend panic...
i would like to make them share their problem with me..
and i will listen...
and... if i can help.. i will try my best..
but if cant..
i think.. some consolation.. or be a joker to make them happy.. hahaha....

so.. i grown up....

TO MOTHER FUCKER!
YOU SEE THAT?
I WONT LET MY NEW FRIEND SUFFER!
SO JUST SIT THERE!
AND WAIT!
WAIT FOR MY FIRE!
WAIT FOR MY CAR!

CAUSE I'M GONNA DRIVE MY CAR TO YOUR HOUSE AND I BURN YOUR HOUSE!!!!

(by the way.... acting gay.... is the only way which make me happy.. but dun worry.. i'm still straight... haha...i finally understand the meaning of 'GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN' or 'HUNKS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN')....

private session....

buying

2010-08-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

i just cut my hair just now.... in rawang.. thanks to my best friend that i hate a lot.. ALVIN LOH WAI HOONG.. hahaha.....

is a new hair saloon.... well.. is not bad actually... just... she (the hairstylist) say she cant make the hairstyle i wanted
because my hair is still short....

WHAT THE HELL??
SHORT?

OH GOSH... FIRST TIME... THERE'S SOMEONE SAY MY HAIR STILL SHORT....
WELL IF IS MY MOM... SHE WILL KEEP SAYING....

LONG LIKE A HAIRYMONSTER.... T_T.......

but still.. i ask her to try to shaping my hairstyle first... so.. she shape for me....
is not bad actually.......
just .. i dunno if i want to try to apply her wax to for my initial shaping will charge my extra 3 ringgit...... T_T......

sigh.....

ok... now......

hair already make...
nails already cut....

what else i wanted to buy?

contact lens....
yeah... contact lens.. my savior... for my eyes and also my overall face... here i come... hahaha.....

(p/s: i love me when i am wearing contact lens.. it make me look more cute.. hehe.... )

whoever dun like that p/s... go away..... BLAH! SHOOOOO!

So far..... so.......????

2010-07-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

Yeah... is me.. i am back...watever......

well... for around 2 months din blogging....
the reason behind this is i am very very very busy.. and... no inspiration to write it.....
haha....

how am i now?
fine..
just...
i am still in FOUNDATION..... i am under repeat student due to got barred by the CHEMISTRY II on last year which is my semester 2.....

but don't worry..
i am very happy now..
i mean.. my sem 4 is the most happiest semester ever in Utar....compare to 1,2 and 3.... i also don't know why..... kinda weird..............

And i got some new friends..... yeah.. watever.. so called new friend....]

here is my sem 4 BFFF list ( BEST F..... FRIENDS FOREVER)

1) AGNES TAN CHEN CHYI..... a retarded woman.. and a shortie.. and she got a dance move.. call the clothes drying dance

2) WONG CHAN WENG... what i can describe is... he is so damn gay... although he is str8......

3) SUJESHA... the noisiest... as usual.....

4) LEE CHEN MENG... LCM... ok.. this guy is very interesting, i mean.. among the others.. he is not a engineer based or biology based.. he is IT based.. which mean.. i din saw his face before when i am semester 1, 2 and 3. What i know is, he keep make me thining of...'him'........ sigh..... yeah.. is that 'him'... that i wanted to slap a lot and a lot when i see 'him'..... someone worst than betrayer......... but good news is...... at least LCM is much more better than 'him'.. seriously.. i swear!! CAN U HEAR IT ? MY DEAR MOTHERFUCKER 'HIM' ?

5) Khor Mun Huai.... the physicist.... well... i knew him since end of semester 2... just... we are very very close.. in this semester....

6) NG AN TING..... 'AWEK' but already belongs to somebody......

7) Vanessa and her bio-based girls... i dunno their name... just vanessa.. haha....but.. at least we talk a lot now...... compare to the previous semesters......

8) ANGELA..... She is interesting.... seriously.. i really dun hope that she will read this blog... cause she will slap me... haha.... well.. her outlook at first give me a bad impression... not until we start to have a conversation to each other... then only i found out... she is out of the box that i think actually.... she is talented...in many things...... trust me....

9) AU WEI CHONG... this guy got a lot of twincies in foundation in science before.. but since all his twincies go to degree only him left.. so only now i can differentiate who is who right now....

10) HENRY,YUEN WEN, SEAN, AND.... FORGET HIS NAME ARLEADY.. BUT THEY KNOW ONE..... well.. if for someone that who know me.. and also know them.. they will for sure hard to believe that i have become friend with them.... hahaha....

11) SIMMY... or simren.. haha.. my 'future' coursemate... hehe.....same like sujesha......

yeah.. so far.. i think... they are my bfff....

hold on hold on
i think i forget someone....

damn!

11) SIVANESAN... nothing much.. still the same.... dun wan to talk more about him.. cause if you want me to talk about him.... the whole blog will closed.. hahahaha... shhhhhhh .... just assume this fellow is a mysterious one.. ok?... as usual....zzz (anyway.. i am so going to slap him today!!!! )

haha... so
that's my bfff in semester 4...
and....
yeah....
maybe you guys will try to think that...
i am happy back once again......
haha......

so .... to my friend already went degree!!!

I MISS YOU ALL VERY VERY VERY MUCH.. LIKE I MISS MY PILLOW!!!

I AM GOOD HERE!!!!!

HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS????

not that actually.... but yes... this is....

2010-05-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

I thought they started to change..
is because we all grown up..
and..
all of us.. had very less communicate...
and..
so..
the way we treat each other become cooler....

But..
not..
actually is not..
they didn't change..
but i change..
what do i change?
my status...

Is simple..
not complicated..
that is...
they all actually is already that kind of attitude..
they all actually is already don't like me since the starting..
but..
they need me..
so..
they must ACT.. i repeat... ACT... in front of me..
so that.. i can help them..
cause i am a soft-hearted person..
like one them say...
i don't know how to scold people.. cause i wont get angry...
yeah..
thanks for your word..WHORE...
now i just realize that how stupid i was when i am secondary school..
the truth is.. NO ONE LIKES ME SINCE THE STARTING! THEY JUST ACTING! ...
and.. look at now...
right now..
they don't need me anymore..
cause they all are grown up..
plus..
we are totally in different place..
so..
means..
I AM USELESS RIGHT NOW.....
and..
that's why..
the way they treat me...
is kinda coolest....
some even just dun bother me die or alive....
thank you..
thank you very much..
i wont hate you guys..
i just will categorize you guys as a lesson...
for me to grow up..
if hate..
hate myself..
so damn stupid....
thanks very much.......

guiltty swear

2010-05-23T00:32:00.000-07:00

so...
it seems like....
here we end....
no more next chapter...
for the story between you and i....
sigh....
just because of i break my promise..
just because of i break my swear...
now i finally understand ...
i am the one who broke all this stuffs...
i am the one who ruins the happy ending into sad ending.....
we can see it...
on face to face... when i talk to you.. you just treat me very very very cool...is like.. you start to feel bored on my topic...
on msn... when i chat with the others... the line is good and stable..
but when with you... is keep disconnected.... even your offline message to me... i cant read it...
and just now..
something more bad happens... is something that will spoil the relationship between you and i...
although i try and try very hard to solve this bad thing...
but.. i still scare...
on the phone....you cant hear my voice... and i can sense it that your voice is kinda bad feelings toward me....
sorry....
sorry.....
god..
did you listen to what i am said?
I AM VERY SORRY NOW...
AND CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE?
JUST ONE!
ONE LAST CHANCE!
IF DIS ONE LAST CHANCE I STILL SPOIL IT..
THEN I WILL BE PUNISH INTO MORE WORST..
PLEASE....
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THE ONE I LOVE JUST BECAUSE OF I BREAK MY SWEAR....
I SWEAR!
I WONT BREAK MY SWEAR ANYMORE!
JUST GIMME ONE LAST CHANCE!
CAN YOU?
PLEASE...
PLEASE....
PLEASE..... I BEG MY KNEES AND PLEASE YOU.. PLEASE... sob sob....

let go

2010-05-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

is weird...
and funny...
that is...
when u say u dun love at all...
in the same time....
u keep finding way to not to lose it....
how to explain.....
?

YOU

2010-05-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

i hate 19 years old although i am already suffering with it for around 5 months(going to).....
but compare to 18 years old, 19 years old is a lot better, not a little bit, but a lot.

yeah, i am serious about it.
AT LEAST,
during my 18 years old time, when i am having a lot of problems or troubles, no one will listen to me. I repeat! Listen! I din ask for consolation, but listen, and, no one wanted to do that.

From i been betrayed by my best friend in national service camp, to my family problem, to been jealous or been backstabed suddenly by some stranger in my university, and love failure problem, and whatever.

Yeah, at least, none of my friend wanted to share these problem from me. Sharing is Caring, is really bullshit for me that time.

And that had make me a great hater, i start to hate everything, everyone, every-moment in this world. I am not a hater before, i forgive and accept everything, but not when i am 18.

19 years old, well, i am still have a lot of trouble, and even lots more than 18. BUT, at least, i am not so suffering or panic like hell , like 18. Thanks to you, you come and you share the problem with me. Well, what i mean 'you' is not only referring to 1 person, is more than that. I hope that you do understand that i am talking about you. Hahahaha.

You come into my world, and you change my world. Here's the statement when i was 18 and before :
'The longer the time when we are friends, the stronger the friendship we are having.'

But, since the day we start to know each other, you change my world, you change my statement:
'The greater the way we treat each other as friends, the stronger the friendship we are having.'

And the conclusion is,the power of friendship, cant judge by time or period or tempo. But, is judge by, how we treat each other. We were old friends, so what? if we were old friends, but we din do the part as a friend, just to tell other people or let the world know that we are old friend, is meaningless, right?

Here's a good situation, assume that you are having a trouble, very very big trouble, like wat the SHAMPOO sings :"oh oh, we're in trouble." And your old friends cant help you ( i don't want to say that they don't want to help, maybe they do want, but they really can't), but your new friends, which is besides you right now suddenly come and said to you:"hey, wanna lend some hands for you?"

Which one will you choose?

I choose the new. I know maybe you guys will say but you still don't know much about the new one compare to the old one. So what? the old one, will change, right? Everyone will change, and nowadays, many of my old friend say tat i changed a lot i changed a lot, and i look at my bodysize, i really change a lot.... getting fatter.....zzzzz

And because is old one, and you know him very much, and you know his weakness. You know that he is lying. You know that he will go to do that thing even in front of you he keep saying that that thing is boring and he wont go for it because of you cant go to do that thing. And the most horrible is, you keep pretending that he really wont go to do that thing is because of boring, not because of you cant go. And after that, few days later, he go to do that thing, and you must pretend that you don't know EVERYTHING!!! DAMN MOTHERFUCKER! DAMN PISS OFF! THIS IS WHY I HATE BLOGGING!......

fine fine.. chill chill......

I really hate them....
seriously....

These is what my old best friends, my old gang did to me:
one of them, lie to me.
one of them, don't believe me, and suspect me.
one of them, feel like i am changing a lot, but actually, he din realize that he changed.
one of them, keep creating troubles for me.
Some of them used me.
Some of them left me out.

I had tried a lot that i keep telling myself that it was just i were too sensitive. But until i know you, i am not that sensitive, is fact, actually.

Because of you,
i really forget what they did to me.
Because of you,
i really have a nice time.
Really...
Well, maybe you were new, and, maybe you were just ACT to be my new best friend for some purpose, but at least, the way you ACT, really make me happy.
And this is why,
i sacrifice a lot to you.
and i felt a lot worthy when i sacrifice to you, compare to i sacrifice to those old friends.

UTAR RESULT IS GONNA OUT, really wish you will get the best result. And guess what, i even sacrifice my time, to pray for you to get a better result. NOT MINE. hahaha... I am serious. What i wanted to do is, as long as you are happy, then i am happy too.
BUT OF COURSE, THE BEST IS,
WE STILL CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

GOOD LUCK.

sound making

2010-03-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

Phew...
the sound that i keep making now is 'phew'...
everything has done...
everything is going to ended......
no matter the thing is i like it or not...
still going to ended...
in the same time....
wat i wanna say is....
to the thing that i dun like..
i will say bye bye...
but to the thing that i like...
'i miss you....'
thanks a lot.....
(to be continue)

DisTance

2010-03-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

Distance,
is a measureable terms.
It's measure how far between 2 objects.
Such as My cat and My dog(example!),
My house and your house,
My computer monitor's screen and my eyes.

These are either measure in cm, mm, m, inch, feet, arms, and blah blah blah.

Beside that's
distance can also as an adjective for friendship, loves, family, and enemy.
For friendship, loves, and family,
the nearer the distance, means, the nicer the relationship you are having with them.
But for enemy,
the nearer the distance, means, the nearer the date of war between you and enemy.
NO GOOD.

However, .....sigh.....
You can't control these distance.
Just like me.
You can sense it, but you can't make it nearer or further.
Honestly,
i really don't want our distance be this kind of far,
can't we just back to the days when we were new meeting each other?
Why?
Why every love story, family case, or even friendship brotherhoods,
Why everytime, when the days goes on, the distance will become further and further.
and then will end up some stupid sentence such as
"I think i am giving up for knowing who you are."
or
"I think you have changed."
or
"I think i start to don't know who you are."
or
"We really have nothing else to talk anymore."
or
"I think our this is our fate, we are fate to have a distance..."
and more
STUPID, STUPID, and STUPID.

...sigh...

Well, what i wish is,
i really don't want to have anymore distance between everyone,
Soul, Friends, BFF, Family, and even your groupmates.
I really don't want it anymore.
please......
I am tired of seeking someone comes to me nicely,
but left me badly.
I am also tired of comes to someone excited,
but left that someone whatever.

I am tired.
And what i know is,
My distance between me and tired,
is 0(ZERO).

DIZZ-ZAY!!!!

2010-03-20T19:09:00.000-07:00

thanks to the guitar hero ORIANTHI...
one of her hits 'according to you',
has nearly make me forget how to spell the word
'D-I-Z-Z-Y' properly...
cause she sing dizzy into D-I-Z-Z-A-Y...
and nowadays... when i feel dizzy...
i will either type dizzay or shout it"I AM SO SO DIZZAY NOW!"

whatever...

and i am very dizzay now...
from friday night....
cry.....cry....cry....
One of my V.I.P tell me that the thing that i province him to buy is not working actually...
and i keep find a way to help him solve..
i call him try this,
i call him try that,
i even wanted to go to his house and see what's the real problem,
and fixed it on the spot.
BUT,
i didn't.
Cause,
the stupid dizzay sky give a dizzay rain and cause my stupid dizzay broadband have a dizzay connection..
and
BOMB!
we disconnected....
(CRY OUT LOUD......)
(P/S: To all my friend, don't tell him this, if you still wanna be alive.)
So, i am 40% dizzay....

Then, the next day...
(SCREAM)
my stupid dizzay mom!!
SHE IS TOO CALCULATIVE THAN I THOUGHT!
SHE DON'T WANT TO GIVE ME THESE TWO MONTHS RENTAL,
BECAUSE SHE THINK SHE DON'T NEED TO PAY...
AND I CALL HER TO EXPLAIN TO MY HOUSELEADER,
AND SHE SAID NO NEED!
SHE CALL ME TO EXPLAIN.

WHAT THE HELL!!!

HEY WOMAN!
IS YOU THE ONE WHO DON'T WANT ME TO PAY,
YOU CALL ME NOT TO PAY,
AND YOU DON'T WAN TO EXPLAIN TO MY HOUSELEADER WHY I DON'T WANT TO PAY?
AND CALL ME TO EXPLAIN?
I AM JUST 19 YEARS OLD.
NOT 91 YEARS OLD.
I AM STILL A DIZZAY LITTLE BOY.
WHYYOUWANNAWHYYOUWANNABRINGMEDOWN?????

But still, she is my mom...
sigh..
although my real mom is garbage,
but,
at least the one who give me money to buy the thing i like is this woman,
not the dizzay garbage.
garbage can't do anything.

SO,
NOW I AM 100% DIZZAY NOW,
DAMN!
My brain is going to defeat albert einstein brain,
cause my brain is multifunction now..
what is inside my dizzay brain now?

1)drama
2)management
3)web page
4)blogging
5)facebooking
6) 'V.I.P' broken thing (sorry... and don't tell him my brain is thinking about this)
7) DRIVING
8) the rental

SOMEBODY who is not DIZZAY,
HELP ME!

I AM DAMN DIZZAY NOW...

OH YA! BY THE WAY!

2010-03-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

BY THE WAY,
I SAID I WANNA CLOSED THIS STUPID YUYUJUNI BLOG,
AND I DID.

BUT BY THE WAY,
I OPEN BACK THIS BLOG.

BY THE WAY,
THIS BLOG CAN BE IN CHINESE, AND ENGLISH,
DON'T WORRY,
FOR THOSE ORANGE WHO DUNNO ENGLISH,
CAN ASK ME PRIVATELY...
JUST GO TO MY FACEBOOK, AND LEAVE IT ON MY WALL....
AND FOR BANANA,
IF YOU DUN UNDERSTAND CHINESE,
SAME THING TOO...

BY THE WAY,
THE REASON FOR ME TO OPEN BACK THIS BLOG IS...
I LOST MY DIARY ...
I DUNNO WHO THE STUPID FELLAS SO INTERESTED IN MY PRIVACY LIFE...

BY THE WAY,
I REALLY DON'T HOPE THIS NEW (OR IS A REMAKEOVER) BLOG HAVE A LOT OF VISITORS OR TRACKERS OR STALKERS...
CAUSE IS MY DIARY...
I MEAN, WHEN I AM SAD, OR I AM EXCITED OR BORED, I WILL READ IT MY OWN..
SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE, YOU CAN LEAVE....

AND ANYWAY....
THANKS FOR WATCHING MY BLOG AGAIN.
YOU'VE GOT THE LOVE
I LOVE YOU .......